Can anything be positive in this misery? I try to list the “pro’s”, although I’d like to be without all that, and the list “cons” is much longer. But as we know, no yin without yang and so our loved ones can really envy us.
- We can sleep long – when we can sleep or when we don’t have to pee urgently and that three times in a row.
- We get a pension even if we have not reached retirement age – no matter for what standard of living it is enough for.
- We can eat what and how much we want, a few kilos too much doesn’t upset us anymore. We can eat when we have appetite, we don’t suffer from reflux, we can tolerate larger amounts without our blood pressure going crazy or we don’t take dopamine and protein-rich food doesn’t matter.
- We never have to invest in wrinkle creams again – we get wrinkles from crying anyway, and who cares about them? Our psychologist does not have to find us attractive.
- We have a disabled person’s card, which offers many advantages if we are still able to enjoy. We are allowed – theoretically and if the pension office is gracious, and we have often enough objections – to park in a disabled parking lot. We are allowed to use public transport for free or alternatively we get a reduction on the automobile tax. We can eloquently overtake the queue everywhere, at every event, and are let in without anyone complaining. With a mark B we can also take a companion with us free of charge. This is great.
- We get a tax reduction – funny that I don’t realize yet that I have to swim in money.
- In buses, trams and trains we are always offered a seat, no matter how crowded it is – like we recently did with frail passengers.
- We are/can be exempted from co-payments in pharmacies and can get medication, therapy sessions or aids free of charge or at reduced prices. So we can have medicines written on a prescription until the end. If there is a medication for our ailment.
- We have a degree of care, we get money from the state, which we could invest in whatever we want, like fashion, holidays or parties. Unless we have to invest it in care. Such bad luck.
- Our friends and family treat us like a raw egg. We’re always the center of attention. Whether we like it or not. Whether it does us good or not.
- We swallow so much supplements and medication that we get fed up and can save on food.
- No matter how out of line we behave – spilling, farting, burping, breaking glasses, or even worse, we will always find understanding. We just have to learn to behave like a pig and get over it.
- We can live really intensely now because we won’t live much longer. We just have to get used to this thought and enjoy it.
- No stupid boss is bothering us anymore. We only have to deal with authorities and doctors who “per se” float one meter above the ground and look down on us all.
- We are not interested in fashion, which we have to follow. We don’t see many people walking around anyway and we have so many clothes that it will last for the rest of our lives.
- What was once our hobby, we now look at from a comfortable armchair without having to lift a finger, get dirty or wet – if that isn’t comfortable!
- We no longer sweat our clothes full – we can’t sweat at all.
- We get help with our clothes, so no more annoying buttons and socks.
- Buying a car will be much easier, attributes like “automatic” and “will a wheelchair fit in it?” count, colour or brand doesn’t matter at all.
Have I forgotten anything?
What a life! I have to envy myself…