I guess everyone knows the unrealistic dream “what would I do with 100 billions if I won the lottery”. Everyone’s probably already imagined it. Ten million for charity, ten for pollution, houses with pools for the family, and so on. This dream has changed a bit. In “What would I do if by some miracle I were healthy tomorrow and could live my life over again”.
I have now made the experience that material things mean little. They are important because you can take a holiday, wear the clothes you like, whether it’s a Gucci costume and LouBoutin heels or jeans and T-shirt, everyone can decide. That you can afford a good hairdresser, a fast and nice car or nice furniture or wellness. In any case, in the end there is not much left over from the whole thing, what remains are the memories. Of holiday places, certain people, things that I have dared to do or that I got scared of and cowardly did not dare to do.
Funnily enough, people like bosses, family members are not remembered at all, although these people are the ones you think about the most, and you want to be accepted or loved by these people.
I already had selected friends, now I would be even more selective about people around me, whether they are friends or family members. It costs you a lot of time, money and effort and now the majority of these people don’t even ask how I am doing. So what’s the point? I would do what I feel like doing. I already did that mostly, but now I would be even less interested in “who says what about it” and “who I want or must be there”. Do I have to do anything at all? I would generally think less about who finds it’s good and why and if.
Although I had a creative and challenging job, which I could choose myself, I would choose another job now. Something the world has more of. The people. Something sustainable. I am not a great philanthropist, but I like animals even more. And in general I wish and allow everyone his luck. Not doing something abstract and virtual, something you can touch.
All in all this has become a “favourite dream”, to imagine “what if”…
There are so many situations in life that would be really fun if it wasn’t for this stupid disease. Like riding an electric scooter today. It’s a bit like the autoscooters at the theme parks of my youth. If there wasn’t something that spoils the good mood…