I’ve been thinking these days, enough is enough, I need to shave my legs. I know that with MSA you have bigger problems than that. But I must say that I (also) already suffer from the degradation and decay of the appearance. I was a rather vain person, hair, clothes, fingernails, manicured feet, have played a big role. However, not because of the others, because of myself.
And that is noticeable now.
I am just over fifty, but before my diagnosis I was estimated to be forty and I felt like thirty. Before my diagnosis. So from one day to the next, I went from the status of vain lady or fashionista to the category of “gray mouse”.
I know how much that affected me when I cut off my hair. It’s short and gray now. Dyeing and hairdressing is something I could no longer do on my own, and unfortunately I can’t pay for it now either. Just like for fingernails and pedicure. That was super important, I was every two weeks at nails make and I had perfect red nails and perfect feet. Now I have everything cut short, of course I can’t polish those anymore. I know how I sat with long red fingernails, perfectly dressed at the first MDK visit, and got zero points.
So I put the idea in my head, I finally have to shave my legs. Could actually also not matter, except for me no one sees anyway, what is under my pants. Nevertheless. And that, where I can’t take a step without help.
It made me think about how it would be if I still had my ex-partner or if I was married. And how do all the married women do it? Men have other problems… So even though I can hardly walk, can’t even eat with a knife and fork, it bothers me when my legs are unshaven, when my eyebrows are untweezed and my feet are undone. I’m sure some people think that my problems are not big enough…
So I prepared everything nicely in the bathroom, so that everything was ready, eliminated the danger of slipping… and then I staggered into the shower, sat on the shower stool and started. Legs smeared with shaving cream and then shaved off. To that I must say I’m very glad for the safety standards of today, because a razor blade and my fine motor wobbly hands are a very awkward combination. With blades that were still common during my childhood, I would have surely cut off my legs. Which wouldn’t even have been that wrong – one less problem….
In any case, after I have smeared the bathroom full – and myself too – I have smooth legs. After half a day’s work. At least in places I can see. Where I can’t see, who knows.
Moral of the story: no matter how deep I’m in the mud, I want to look as good as possible.