I visited my family two weeks ago and then had an eye accident, which prevented my training program. The time with my family was exhausting anyway. I can feel it immediately when I stop excercizing, I notice that now. The regression comes from behind like a hammer.
The current state is a cycle that I have to break somewhere and somehow. I haven’t had an appetite for a few days, I couldn’t eat anything the whole day, and that happens to me too. The thought makes me sick and I push the food until it gets dark. I can’t even manage to drink my coffee after getting up. And because I don’t eat, my balance gets worse, my energy is bad, I come out of my breath and then it makes me sick. The tremor increases in my right arm. Both arms become numb.
I started yesterday, yes I can still ride 30 minutes on my homebike but much slower and my heart rate is worse than before. Afterwards I have to lie down again and raise my legs so that I don’t tip over.
Today I was also outside, going for a walk with Nordic Walking poles. I can’t stand the heat, everything is more unstable, yes I notice that it’s not as it used to be.
And tomorrow is also this concert… I have to admit, I am afraid. Fortunately I have my three girls with me and have a seat, they will save my life tomorrow.
I have to force the food tomorrow, otherwise I can’t stand it. And I hope it will still be as it was. This reduction is depressing and it shows how important it is to make an effort. I won’t give up depressed, I don’t make it that easy for the disease.
I will report whether I can get back to where I once was.