Many things we learn to appreciate only after we have lost them. This is very human. MSA patients know, what it feels like, we are constantly losing abilities we used to take for granted. Like walking, sweating, talking, writing, generally controlling our bodies and keeping them under control. The loss of every bodily function is very bitter.
Today I would like to talk about something, that probably belongs among the first of my symptoms, without knowing that I have MSA. My eyesight.
I have been farsighted and dependent on vision aids since I was 16 years old. So far it is not dramatic, many people wear glasses. I could never make friendship with glasses, it restricted my field of vision, disturbed my driving and I preferred to wear contact lenses. So far it is also good, with the years a few dioptries were added and also the “presbyopia” which many short-sighted people find convenient.
Then a few years ago I started getting eye infections at irregular intervals, a handful times a year. I didn’t attach too much importance to hygiene until now, I wasn’t sensitive, I used my monthly lenses for two months too. I thought it was my make-up or mascara, there was probably dirt in it, so I threw the products away and always bought new ones.
These eye infections have increased, I think they have also become a little worse, and I have tested it now, that it can not be due to too long used contact lenses, no make up or mascara, now I pay attention to hygiene meticulously. And now I also have the diagnosis MSA.
These eye inflammations last about 3-4 days, and during this time I cannot leave the house at all – I have because of that already cancelled appointments, it prevents me from doing my exercises. On the first day, about in the afternoon, it becomes noticeable and I have to take the lenses out because I have the feeling, that my eyes are so dry, that the lenses fall out on their own anyway. Then I notice that my eyes are reddened. Then I get a burning sensation and have to keep my eyes closed because of the pain. The eyes are getting more red and I looks as if I have cried through a whole day and a night. At night the eyelids stick together and a liquid flows out of the eyes all the time. The next day it’s already better, I can open my eyes, I can read or write or watch TV, it hurt less. My eyes are still very red and watery. On the third day the tearing stops, I think I could actually put contact lenses in my eye, I just don’t dare. I wear glasses all the time. And since I have had varifocals, since last year – so glasses with which I can read and also look into the distance, so the lenses have different strengths on different spots – things are more difficult. These glasses already overtax a healthy brain and it takes at least a week to get used to them. My MSA brain is overtaxed anyway and I often don’t know if it’s the glasses or balance problems because of the disease.
These inflammations now accumulate and also get on my nerves. First I will follow all the advice of my fellow patients and look for a neuro-ophthalmologist, because I suspect my opticians and ophthalmologist are overwhelmed with the problem.
I become paranoid with this disease because I have often the suspicion, that everything the body does wrong, is an MSA symptom, but not always is like that. After all, I now know now, that this is another symptom, that gives me this disease.
Now I’m going to pay attention, get used to the glasses and hope I can use my contact lenses for a long time.
Photo: rclassen / photocase.com